"here is my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger and enjoy."
we were happy. we were so happy. and the worst part is is that we were, right up until we weren't. all i can think about is when we were happy. everyone around me wants me to be mad, to stop taking this lying down...but i can't. i feel like a piece of me is missing. i can't stop thinking about when we were happy. and wondering what happened to those two happy people - where did they go so suddenly? he was my best friend; the person who's supposed to comfort me when i cry, not the one that makes me cry. the person i tell about my bad days, not the one whose absence and negligence causes them.
i feel like one of those people that are so freaking miserable they can't be around normal people. like i'll infect the happy people.
we were happy. we were so happy. and the worst part is is that we were, right up until we weren't. all i can think about is when we were happy. everyone around me wants me to be mad, to stop taking this lying down...but i can't. i feel like a piece of me is missing. i can't stop thinking about when we were happy. and wondering what happened to those two happy people - where did they go so suddenly? he was my best friend; the person who's supposed to comfort me when i cry, not the one that makes me cry. the person i tell about my bad days, not the one whose absence and negligence causes them.
i feel like one of those people that are so freaking miserable they can't be around normal people. like i'll infect the happy people.
6 comments:
Wow, Ris. I'm sorry. I know there's probably not anything I can do to cheer you up, but know that I am thinking about you and praying for you and hoping that things get better for you sooner rather than later. Love ya! - Ash
Dear Ris, If there were a bandage and a certain spell that would change this, we sure would find them. J K Rowling didn't cover this particular hurt. We are praying for you Love, Gram & Grampa
meredith had to be dark and twisty for what.. 5 seasons? that doesn't mean you have to follow in her footsteps. it's ok to mourn, to be devestated. but in a few weeks i will be here to remind you to be ok again...ok?
I left my comment on his blog. He needs to stop needling the person he hurt, if he wants forgiveness. It isn't fair on the one hand to be constantly intellectualy asking for things while continuing to hurt someone who up until he made things bad, loved him. He made the decision all by himself, but he continues to want forgiveness. Yes, it would be better for you, but putting white hot needles into his blog just keeps the hurt going.
I can't imagine what pain being married to him would be. Love, Gram
Ris I'm so sorry =( you can call and talk to me! Your advice has helped me so i can try and help you if you ever need anything.
I've been gone a while and am just catching up on my blog reading. I am so sorry! It's a fact of life that boys make girls cry. And it sucks. So do whatever it takes to get through it, even if it means doing absolutely nothing at all.
And then one day, you can tell me all about his flaws and I will immortalize them in my novel which will be such a best-seller that they make it into a movie and I'll invite you to the premiere where you will be stunning and enchanting, meet a rich, handsome movie star, and have beautiful babies together; and I'll split the royalties with you.
Just remember, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.
And if you need to escape, Midway is quite lovely this time of year.
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