today is going to be a great day

i've been thinking quite a bit and here's what i've come up with:

#1 - i have the coolest 13 year old brother in the world. he's been like a life preserver for me the past two weeks and i literally wouldn't be here if not for him and

#2 - brianon. sometimes i feel like God was like, "sorry, you don't get to have a love that will last forever...but i made you this best friend that is for reals your other half...so...still a win-win, right?" i can't put into words how great brianon is. the best i can come up with is that i want her to marry my brother (which i'm okay if that doesn't happen, it's just the highest compliment in my power to give!). i love this girl so much that if the grandma eyeball spider came back to life, i would be brave and kill it for her. i'm so glad that we are roomies now and can't wait for all our fear bonds and adventures together.

#3 - i miss blogging. this is my journal and i've let my fear of showing my crazy/being sad all the time stop me from saying how i feel. and i'm tired of bottling all this up. so you know what? i'm back baby. and if it bothers you to read what i'm writing, you can just kiss my ass/stop reading cuz no one is making you read this. this is me and how i feel and i'm not going to hide that because it's convenient for anyone else.

#4 - for the past 2-3 weeks, most of my days have been a "too serious for numbers" on this scale. it has been sucking balls.




but. what i have decided is this:and i am tired of feeling shitty all the time. it is shine time. i really miss dj a lot. he was my best friend and i'm still pretty devastated and probably will be for a long long time. so even though i feel like this right now:



i think that this is going to be my theme song for a little bit...



[if only i could find a marching band to follow me around...]