here eez ze sing...

[post script:  i think you are the best and i'm sorry life is being so crappy.  even though sometimes it feels like we are the picasso's of loneliness, in the words of liz lemon we are actually "the painting elephants of awesome".  never give up; never surrender.  love love love.  also please don't think that the "heart will always belong to you" business up there is lezzy style.  it's just normal besties style.  jsyk;)]

we are eating pepper and chips

i read this quote on a blog today:

"not because it's better than nothing

but because it's better than everything."

and i can't get it out of my head.  i want that in every single aspect of my life.

this may sound like gibberish to you, but i think i'm in a tragedy.

i feel like i need to preface this with the fact that i just drank a bunch of nyquil.  from a champagne flute.  yes, we're running a pretty classy establishment here at the hapt.  i'm fighting it a little to write this, so if it turns into a drug induced ramble, feel free to just...not read it, i guess.

'the switch' is fabulous.  you need to see it right now.  it's top ten of all time for me.  absolutely loved it.  

i've been doing so good lately with moving on and being a superfox.  but tonight i'm feeling a little sad.  like i just wish i mattered to someone.  this is not a cyber-plead to you to comment about how i matter to you because i'm your best friend/granddaughter/kid/sister.  i know i matter to you.  and i love that i do and wouldn't change that for the world.  i'm talking boy matter.  i just want a boy to think about me when he's at work and text me and ask me some silly question just because he wants me to think about him.  or be invited to do something.  i know me and brianon are super fun adventure planning girls, but that doesn't mean i don't like being invited to do things sometimes too.

so if you are a boy that thinks i'm the bees knees (if such a guy exists): man up prove it.

this is not making very much sense, so i think i will be done.  i am about to pull a 'laura' and fall asleep on my computer.

bizzy bizzy bizzy

i am feeling about 27 times better. the funny part is, it's not like some big miracle happened or i did something special. i finally just decided that i was tired of feeling sad, and wanted to be awesome instead. so i did. i'm not saying that i don't have low points. but i am saying that i feel loads better.

brianon and i had a fun surprise on sunday: someone mysteriously left a dozen gorgeous pink roses on our doorstep. we asked around but no one was saying anything. i'm super intrigued. it was such a kind thing to do and i really wish i knew who gave them to us so i could say thank you. it really made my day.


another thing that's been going great is this whole 'hanging out with/making new friend' thing i've got going on right now. i'm keeping sooo busy (two jobs? plate=full) working and playing with all my friends. (especially friends that kill the fifty million spiders that all of a sudden are invading me and b's house! yikes!) it's really great having friends to plan adventures with:)

speaking of adventures, let's go camping!


[ps. briaXnon graduated thursday. this is what i got her. jealous?;)]

this is my new addiction

Young and Reckless: "Rob wants drama to live his brand, Young and Reckless."

huge thanks to tevan for not only fixing my car but killing not one, not two, but three to ten spiders tonight. you are a spider-killing-car-fixing machine. i hope you "rock" your final tomorrow [bahahaha...only tevan will know how punny i am:)]

i found a dollar, i found a dollar, i found a dollar hey hey hey hey

this is the creepyest thing i have ever seen! this is why i'm afraid of them!

today is going to be a great day

i've been thinking quite a bit and here's what i've come up with:

#1 - i have the coolest 13 year old brother in the world. he's been like a life preserver for me the past two weeks and i literally wouldn't be here if not for him and

#2 - brianon. sometimes i feel like God was like, "sorry, you don't get to have a love that will last forever...but i made you this best friend that is for reals your other half...so...still a win-win, right?" i can't put into words how great brianon is. the best i can come up with is that i want her to marry my brother (which i'm okay if that doesn't happen, it's just the highest compliment in my power to give!). i love this girl so much that if the grandma eyeball spider came back to life, i would be brave and kill it for her. i'm so glad that we are roomies now and can't wait for all our fear bonds and adventures together.

#3 - i miss blogging. this is my journal and i've let my fear of showing my crazy/being sad all the time stop me from saying how i feel. and i'm tired of bottling all this up. so you know what? i'm back baby. and if it bothers you to read what i'm writing, you can just kiss my ass/stop reading cuz no one is making you read this. this is me and how i feel and i'm not going to hide that because it's convenient for anyone else.

#4 - for the past 2-3 weeks, most of my days have been a "too serious for numbers" on this scale. it has been sucking balls.




but. what i have decided is this:and i am tired of feeling shitty all the time. it is shine time. i really miss dj a lot. he was my best friend and i'm still pretty devastated and probably will be for a long long time. so even though i feel like this right now:



i think that this is going to be my theme song for a little bit...



[if only i could find a marching band to follow me around...]

you boogerface, i'm going to kill you with a bazooka!

once upon a time, i blacked out at work this week. here's how it went down.

1. i start getting weak in the knees, literally weak in the knees, and break into a cold sweat.
2. then i start getting tunnel vision and only hearing this noise "shhhhhhhh"
3. then i can't see anything so i sit down really quick before i fall down.

also this happened while i was giving a customer change. so step three happened while i was saying "you can sit anywhere you'd like - enjoy!"

so...that was real great.